Sushi with Shawty

Dinner with Shawty.

So yesterday I thought I was going to just eat dinner at home and lay in bed on my laptop when my phone goes off. Its one of my realist girls asking to go to our fav. sushi joint. Now she knows damn well I never pass that place up, so I took the offer and left my apt within like 20 minutes.

Basically whenever a girlfriend of mine ever texts to go to dinner it means they are 1) either in need of some company
2) feening some suhsi
3) venting session
4) just to get away from where ever they were
5) talk stories
In this particular case 2 & 5 were in order! LOL

I love talking stories with my girlfriends and of course Shawty just came back home from her 10day adventure and she wanted to eat some BOMB sushi and talk stories. It NEVER FAILS when we get together to dine & talk, we stay there til' we're the last ones there and then re-locate our butts outside and finish our conversation for another 2 hours. When me and Pai get together (oh btw Shawty is Pai lol)... we always catch up first and laugh hysterically at all stories we tell one another then we get all serious!

Of course we caught up and talked stories about the nights she missed out on and how her trip to hawaii was. We laughed for hours as we ate and then we went outside to finish our convo and of course it led to more of a serious- and touchy subject for both of us. Pai and I were in a very similar situation before with significant others and it was so weird how our love lives were so much alike, even after the boys... So of course we talked about the "ex's" and their lives now and how we have moved on... yadayada... So I sat there and thought about all the questions I NEVER asked, and how she asked her ex ALL THE QUESTIONS i never did.

It made me go on to think about the other relationships that I had faced and faded away. I never would ask the questions a typical person would ask when breaking up. I never looked at it the way Pai said it "You put your guard up around your heart to not get broken over and over again" those were the words she said to me. I of course said "I know right"... and went about the conversation. As we talked I thought about the reasons why I never asked the questions and just went about my life without any answers, let alone any reason to believe I needed to asks questions. I wodnered if I asked the questions would it have made my reaction diferent, would it have made the relationships I have with other people different? I know it would have and my I'm glad I didn't ask the questions.

I PUT MY GUARD UP... Of course I did. I do that well. I guard my heart to where nobody can be let in. Nobody can feel its power, so that nobody can take it either. I leave it up and before this morning I didn't know why. I keep my self on that homie/friend level because I dont want to let anyone near my heart. I didn't ask those questions simply because I didn't want to feel the pain that it felt the day he said it was over between him and I. I'm very happy I didn't ask the questions because I think it would have become a horrible mistake to actually realize what he was thinking and why he did what he did, or even what he did or did not do.

I dont know when i have dinner with Shawty we do talk about our past and we do go down memory lane, but we both know we could not give in to them. Its probably because my x has issues beyond measures! Hehe... But yeah I just thought I'd talk about it for some odd reason. But yeah neways

Thanks for stoppin by...
XoXo
Thoughts from Del